feelings thoughts words

This veil that hangs over me
is just that - a veil.
A facade.
To know how I really feel
You've got to lift it
Read my eyes
They'll let you into my mind.
I want you to know me
my feelings my thoughts my words
But I pretend not to care
about you
about what you think of me
You would be disappointed in me if you knew the truth.
For me, expression does not come easily,
regardless of how hard I try.
But we are connected
by something bigger than me
bigger than you
we both know it
but pretend not to
I want to know you
your feelings your thoughts your words.

Previous (and Delusional) Attachments

For a while
I didn't know your name
Instead I gave you a nicer one
in my mind.
For a while
I didn't know your thoughts
yet I pretended to...
That must be where I went wrong
I imagined the words you would say
I imagined the look in your eyes
I imagined what I wanted to see
And it worked (for a while).
Then the impact came.
I was left gasping for air,
floundering around pathetically -
the result of my joyful delusions.
I survived, but I'm still looking at things
with wide eyes, new eyes
Since everything looks different when you face reality.

Caught in the Light

You stood in the sunlight,
your body a prism --
the reflections are scattered over
my body, a background --
the lights bounce back and forth,
playfully jumping along my skin.
You will be inevitably caught in the light
I will be the scenery, where your colors can rest
if they so choose.
Amazing - how they mesh with my figure
Creating patterns --
Mesmerizing --
morphing into shapes and

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