After three or four failed attempts at an impressive while somewhat original homepage, I asked myself, "What the hell am I trying to prove?" There I was with my self-imposed weights upon my head, doing my best to fool everybody into thinking I was someone other than me. But I've learned from my mistakes, and this is the result. I'll probably redo the formatting and/or replace this page with something better pretty soon. Maybe when I actually get some good ideas for it. For now, this is good enough. Please excuse the senselessness of it all; I have mental problems. But I can't use drugs, because I know I'll get addicted. So here I am yet again, trying to think of something to make you stay and peruse my contribution to the World Wide Web. Hmmm, this is tough. Why should you stay? Well, let's see, I've got a lot to offer. I have excellent taste in music (at least I'd like to think so), and I have a great collection of poetry from such poets as myself and other such poets. Anyway, before I continue to make a fool out of myself and alienate everybody who chooses to take some time to read this moronic message, I better shut up. So, if you please, take a look around at this horrendously humble home page. Thanks for listening....

The contents of this web site:

Ear Candy [Bootlegs]
From the Depths of the Cranium [Poetry and Prose]
Wasting Time [Websites Worthy of Your Mouse Clicks]

What my problem is: I have way too many grand plans that never get completed, and it's just a sad, sad thing to see all my failed ideas, so I usually just don't start them, and then I'm wasting all this talent (or so I'm told), and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah, I have problems.

Another problem: Everyone misunderstands me. Well, heck...to be great is to be misunderstood.

The biggest problem: I drank paint thinner as a child.

Popular misconceptions of me:

1 : I am a crack whore.
2 : I frequently have cybersex.
3 : I plot to kill all of my friends, especially those closest to me.
4 : I am a goody two-shoes.
5 : I am a strumpet/slut/ho-bag/prostitute/skank.
6 : fill in the blank

I may not be a crack whore, or a strumpet/slut/ho-bag/prostitute/skank, but I AM a whore. My whore code:

WhH10At4LChRs+b69/!7B5E-a17+sF1M100+K6ack5ahixQiRVsOPv52otyX65w4!r6E*p6f7v4#g5s8D3H!++p2usVA3
Get your own code

How I waste my time:

1 : I get paid minimum wage at The Coffee Beanery, Ltd. at South Park Mall. It's a good job, but I am now addicted to caffeine once again.
2 : I travel through cyber space at least twice daily. It's because I have nothing else to do. That and my obsession with all things Tori--the web is an excellent resource.
3 : I listen to music nonstop.
4 : I pretend to practice my oboe (I'm really only playing stuff I can already play--it makes me feel better).
5 : I work on making myself look better in the eyes of those evil admissions officers. I participate in maybe ten or twelve extracurriculars.
6 : I've been reading a lot lately. I used to read a book a day when I was in middle school, but now it's hard to find time.
7 : I hide in my room to avoid my family.
8 : Sometimes I draw really weird "things," but it's not because I'm a good artist. I'm just bored.
9 : I write a lot, be it email, letters, poetry, short stories, or stream-of-thought journal entries.
10: I gorge myself with a variety of nutritious substances, including, but not limited to: Frosted Mini-Wheats, oatmeal with sugar, mushrooms, bagels, honey sandwiches, and lemon yogurt.
11: During the school year, I study and do homework and study some more. Then I look deep into my student planner and weep, wishing the school year was over.
12: I enjoy writing hate mail. Try it some time; it's a wonderful stress release.
13: I could keep going, but I don't want to.

"Baby, what have you been smoking?"
"Nothing, Tori...."

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